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[lordjackal]

@cyknows

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[lordjackal]

[ Cyno is starting to see that this argument is going to go no where. He can't remember a time with Tighnari where he didn't feel understood. He swallows down the first responses that come to mind, taking time before he finally gives a measured response. ]

I'm sorry.

[veardant]

No, you - you don't get to just.. to just stop -

[ he hates that he can't control the tears that stream down his cheeks, no matter how he swipes and scrubs at them, they continue to stream. but he won't let cyno run away from this. it's like they're speaking two different languages, and tighnari doesn't know how to begin addressing this wound between them. ]

Cyno.. please.

[ tighnari crosses the distance, takes hold of cyno's hoodie, buries his face against his shoulder. ]

[lordjackal]

[ Tighnari crying doesn't help his instinct to shutter his own feelings. He exhales when Tighnari comes close and he wraps his arms around him, holding him close. One hand rubs his back as the other buries into his hair. He swallows heavily. ]

I hurt you and so I'm sorry.

[veardant]

[ tighnari shakes his head, pressing closer. ]

Stop. Just stop.

[ he knows what cyno's doing, that he's pulling back, and tighnari won't allow that, won't let him just slip away. burying things is unhealthy, and that's not who they are. it will only cause the wound to fester, and erupt at a later date, with far more force than it currently would. tighnari takes a deep breath, inhaling cyno's scent, allowing it to comfort him. his voice is softer. ]

It's hard not to feel you don't trust me when you accused me of wanting others to touch me. Do you believe me when I tell you that there's no one I care for like I care for you?

[lordjackal]

I didn't...

[ Cyno frowns, replaying the conversation as best as he can with his foggy memories. ]

I didn't intend or mean to accuse you of anything...

[ He redirects his statement from his instant instinct to deny it altogether. ]

I trust you, so of course I believe you.

[veardant]

[ this is exactly why he wanted to have this conversation sober, so cyno would be lucid enough - both of them lucid enough - to deal with a subject like this. now it's spiraled.

but they'll salvage it. they must. cyno is his mate, there is no one else for him. lifting his head at last, tighnari sniffs, looking into cyno's face. ]

How can I help you?

[lordjackal]

[ Cyno exhales and he presses their foreheads together after meeting Tighnari's eyes briefly. He closes his eyes.

He doesn't even really know what's wrong. How can he know all that he needs to be helped? ]

You could let me kiss Kaveh.

[ Maybe he's just throwing out a dumb suggestion but it's what his brain grabbed on to because he is hung up on Kaveh being one of those six people. ]

[veardant]

[ that's... unexpected. tighnari's brow furrows, and he searches cyno's face. is he.. is this a joke? ]

Do you.. want to kiss him?

[lordjackal]

[ Cyno lifts his head away from the other's and he shakes his head. ]

He's our friend.

[ He furrows his brow. Help this emotionally stunted insecure man. ]

[veardant]

[ cyno is giving some real mixed signals here, but tighnari is determined to fix this, to heal this wound, though he thinks they're already on the way. ]

Well.. that's up to him, really, isn't it? Not me.

[ he lifts a hand, smoothing the hair back from cyno's eyes, tucking it behind one of his ears. ]

If it makes you feel better.

[lordjackal]

It wouldn't if it hurt you.

[ Cyno lets out a little huff of breath as the other touches him so gently. He still has his arms around him. ]

It's the first thing that came to mind.

[veardant]

[ tighnari's hands in cyno's hoodie loosen, and he lifts them to bracket cyno's face, cradling his jaw in both padded palms, his thumbs smoothing over cyno's cheeks. pulling him in, he presses a soft kiss to his lips, then another. ]

You're my mate. Of course I don't want to share you. I'm capable of jealousy, as well.

[ he nudges their noses together. ]

But I trust you. And I want you to feel better.

[lordjackal]

[ Cyno exhales and Tighnari's touch soothes him so much. He leans into it, closing his eyes once more as Tighnari kisses him once, then again. Cyno kisses him once more after that before he lets their noses nudge together and then nuzzles Tighnari. ]

What if we kiss him together? If he's agreeable.

[veardant]

[ it feels like he can breathe again at last, and tighnari allows some of his weight to sag against cyno's chest, his eyes dropping closed for a moment. and then.. he's chuckling, the sound a little heavy and dry. ]

Well that's certainly an idea.

[lordjackal]

We could share him.

[ Cyno says thoughtfully, instead of sharing each other. He sighs, his forehead pressing to Tighnari's again. ]

I think it is harder to let go of that because he's always been our friend.

[ Cyno frowns. He doesn't know how to explain. ]

[veardant]

I see. I suppose that makes sense.

[ tighnari wouldn't love the idea of often coming face to face with someone that cyno's slept with, even if it wouldn't get under his skin too badly, but he can understand, to a degree. slipping his arms over cyno's shoulders, tighnari smiles, nudging their noses together again. ]

I didn't know you were into that sort of thing, General Mahamatra.

[lordjackal]

[ Cyno definitely is not asking to sleep with Kaveh. Just a kiss!!! Tighnari. And Cyno's definitely going to have to forever know Tighnari and Kaveh slept together.

He squeezes his arms around Tighnari, flushing a little. ]

What kind of thing?

[veardant]

Oh, Did you not mean -

[ tighnari flushes hot. ]

[lordjackal]

[ It slowly, slowly dawns on Cyno. ]

I meant... kissing...

[ He clears his throat a little. ]

Would you... be into that kind of thing?

[veardant]

[ i mean he was in a three-way in reverie.. sooooooo ]

Into it? I don't know about that. But I'd be.. amenable, if you and I both found someone we enjoy enough to try it.

[lordjackal]

[ Cyno makes a thoughtful noise before leaning to kiss Tighnari again. ]

If ever... it will be us sharing someone and not sharing each other. All I... asked for with kaveh is for us to kiss him together, though.

[ He says simply, reaching up to cup the other's cheek. ]

But You're mine and I am yours.

[veardant]

[ tighnari exhales hard, relieved, and presses his cheek into cyno's hand, nuzzling into his rough palm. his heart still aches, but it feels much lighter now, his eyes drying. ]

I'm yours, yes, and I always will be.

[ his voice is soft, quieter, and he presses a soft kiss to cyno's warm palm. ]

I hope you'll eventually come to accept the fact that my past has no bearing on how I feel about you.

[lordjackal]

[ Cyno brushes his thumb along the other's cheek before the other kisses his palm. ]

I already know that...

[ Cyno exhales. ]

Maybe you'll eventually believe me.

[veardant]

Mm. All right. If you really mean it, I'll believe you.

[ more than anything, there must be trust between them. tighnari closes his burning eyes for a moment, and squeezes his arms around cyno's shoulders. ]

Let's go back to bed, for a little bit. Get some more sleep.

[lordjackal]

[ Cyno relaxes a little and he tilts his head to kiss the other's cheek gently and instead of pulling away, he slips both his arms back around him, sliding lower and shifting to grip the backs of his thighs and making an upward motion to encourage Tighnari to work with him so he can carry the other to bed. ]

I do mean it.

[ he wants to explain to Tighnari what it's really about, about the hollow feeling that he can't name but since he can't name it he's not sure he can make Tighnari understand so he'll keep that to himself. ]